Otaku Crave

Part One

These screenshots sum up the first half of this episode.

As any good Shounen Jump hero should know, the meaning of life for an anime character is: Friendship! Perseverence! Victory! Here we witness the first of the three.

But let’s start at the beginning.

The more I listen to the OP, the more I can imagine Konata doing a karaoke version of it a la Victory! Akumaizer 3. Nekketsu!

But let’s actually start at the beginning: Cupmen is the root of all evil.

Evil Pink Skirt Dude and Evil Pharaoh Guy fight over who’s eaten the latest type of cupmen: Pink Skirt Dude bought it, and it has disappeared under suspicious circumstances. Vamp-sama, being the gentleman that he is, tries to stop the argument (because peace is much closer to the path of evil than in-fighting) by saying: Isn’t it just cupmen? I’ll buy you another.

Even Vamp-sama makes mistakes. He’s only human, albeit one with pointer than usual mustache. Hearing Vamp-sama say that only made Pink Skirt feel like he’s in the wrong kicking up a fuss about nothing, and upon hearing this analysis by Evil Underling 1 and Evil Underling 2 sent Vamp-sama into self-confinement. Poor Vamp-sama. It’s only because you’re such a wonderful Evil Overlord and listens to even generic underlings that you can only differentiate by the numbers on their foreheads that you slip so easily into Trauma Switch On mode.

The next day, Evil Pharaoh goes to challenge Sunred, alone. Oh, the woe. Oh, the tears. Oh, the pain, as he is thrown to the ground again and again. Here’s our Shounen Jump Rule Number 2: Perseverance.

Meanwhile, Pink Skirt angsts as much as someone in pink lycra and a pink grass skirt can. He contemplates the meaning of friendship. He is supposed to be there too, fighting Sunred. How will Evil Pharaoh cope on his own?

Just as Pharaoh struggles to stand up again, Pink Skirt arrives. Oh, the rainbow colours. Oh, the softly lit bubbles. Old school shoujo, the background effects will do you proud.

So here we have Friendship! Perseverance! Which can only lead to… Complete and utter defeat by Sunred.

Part Two

This half of the episode pains me too much to recount in detail.

It all starts when Sunred, being the capable hero that he is, writes to Vamp-sama and asks him to bring a bunch of cronies over. Poor Vamp-sama and cronies, getting all worried about it, thinking it was a challenge, but of course, it’s just to help Sunred and his girlfriend move. That’s why only the evil flying cronies are here.

Oh, Vamp-sama, you are such an evil gentleman when you say it’s no big deal, that in a way, it will be hard for you if Sunred didn’t exist, that you’re all too happy to help. You look so dashingly evil in your white apron. Take notes, shoujo leads, chats about types of cleaning products is the way to capture real girls’ hearts, and…

I can’t go on. All there is to say is: Kayoko, hands off. You keep your Sunred. Vamp-sama is all mine.

And last thing: Sunred, what the hell have you got in that box that you don’t want your girlfriend to see? The Evil Fly seems extremely interested in seeing them. Could it be… Could it be… your collection of chocolate cake making videos that you’re keeping secret because your girlfriend is on a diet? Because you know, no matter how hard you try, you’ll never be as a cook as great as Vamp-sama.

Witness him in his full glory in the special ED.

Look at the angle at which he is holding that stirring spoon! That is the true incarnation of evil

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